Don't be late

Kerim was the family's only child. When his mother passed away at an early age, all the responsibility was left to his father. His father Halil raised Kerim with love. He made a living as a tailor in the town. He did his best for his son Kerim to have a good profession. Kerim did not disappoint him and became a successful architect. He started a family and settled in Istanbul. He was busy, he could only go to see his father on holidays. After their child was born, his visits became even more infrequent. Although Uncle Halil missed his son, he did not say anything so that he would not be sad. 

He hadn't seen them for four years. Recently, his heart condition needed to be investigated in a good hospital. The hospital in their town did not have these facilities. Kerim learned about the situation from his aunt and immediately bought his father's ticket. On this pretext, father and son were reunited. Uncle Halil was also longing for his grandchildren whom he had not seen for years. After the first few days, Uncle Halil realized that something was wrong. Their order at home, their relationship and their expectations from life surprised Uncle Halil. 

As his son worked hard, many of the household responsibilities were left to his daughter-in-law. Their means were good, but there was a lack of connection in their relationship. Twelve-year-old Hale was at the beginning of the teenage years. She had demands that were opposite to her mother's. Mete, the youngest, was in the most active period of his two years. Dinners were rarely eaten as a family, and in those few dinners, there was almost no conversation. If there was an occasional conversation, it turned into an argument. The only joy in the house was Nermin, the cleaning lady who came daily. She was cheerful, lively and outspoken. Uncle Halil noticed many issues that his son could not see because he was running around. 

His daughter-in-law did little cooking and cleaning at home. Her granddaughter Hale was in conflict with her mother. She challenged her family's refusal to accept her for who she was. She tried to satiate her hunger for admiration with false demands. She ate very little and felt she needed to lose weight, even though she was the ideal weight. The little one screamed all the time. He tried to get his demands made by crying. He didn't know how to play and play on his own. The son was working hard to provide good opportunities for his family. Despite this effort, his unhappiness was noticeable even from the outside. He didn't realize how much he was neglecting his family in his pursuit of work. Almost all the opportunities had become sources of unhappiness.

Uncle Halil's illness had improved. But he decided to stay with his son for a while longer. He wanted to remind them of the values they had forgotten. For this reason, he chatted with his daughter-in-law and valued the interests of his grandchildren. Together they planted flowers all over the garden. He taught his daughter-in-law some local dishes and convinced her of the taste of his hands. His daughter-in-law relaxed as she took over some of the chores around the house. She even learned from the houseworkers who came to the house. The joy of production was added to her life. In this way, the unnecessary pressure on her daughter was reduced. Hale was not as angry with her mother as before. They even went to a concert of her favorite artist together. 

The only person Uncle Halil could not reach was his son. Kerim was too busy at work to spare time for his family. Uncle Halil had to go home now. Before he left, he wrote a letter to his son:

“My son, what a beautiful family you have built. You have succeeded in your business, I am proud of you. My efforts have not been in vain. However, when I was with you, I realized something I could not give you. No opportunity in this life can be more precious than the time a father devotes to his family. Yes, I wanted you to study and have a good profession. But I didn't realize that it wasn't enough. When I was raising you, I suffered from our lack of financial means, and you didn't even complain about it. We had so many joyful times. Remember that and spend a lot of time with your wife and children, okay? They need your love and care very much. I see that you need it the most. I hope you will realize this need too. Don't be late, my son.

Your father who is always proud of you...” 

People sometimes get lost in the expectations of their era and society. He forgets what actually makes him happy. He moves away from himself and even from his loved ones for the sake of the goals set by others. He starts a job and achieves success there. More success is expected of him. It is as if his colleagues become his rivals. He believes that if he cannot surpass them, he will be defeated and lose. He neglects his home and family. His order is disorganized, he becomes unhappy and makes those around him unhappy as well. All the while, he forgets to ask himself, “Where is this going?” Sometimes, when he reaches his goal, he realizes that he has lost the original values he left behind. He has reached the goal, but he has also suffered losses. These are important losses, sometimes difficult to compensate for.  

The Experiential Design Teaching says: “Every opportunity is a test.” 

People are tested by their means. They forget their goal, run after their means and get distracted from their real purpose. 

For this reason, a person should move forward in life by knowing what he wants and why he wants it. The goals he sets should lead him to his real goal. The aim of every human being is to be successful and happy in this life. 

So, do our opportunities lead us to success and happiness? Or are we just running out of life for the sake of opportunities?

Of course, one must provide opportunities to fulfill one's role in life. But the challenge is to keep these opportunities at a level that brings them closer to their original purpose. 

Before it's too late, without being a slave to your means...

Hoping to be among those who are successful and happy...

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Experiential Design Teaching enables us to make our lives easier with consistent, applicable, understandable and useful information. With this information, people learn how to communicate more effectively with their family, friends and customers.