Point Of View

Nurten knocked on Aynur's door, exhausted, her shoulders slumped. It had become a weekend routine for her to visit her neighbor Aynur with her hair disheveled and in her pajamas. She thought Aynur was one of the rare people who stayed sane in this age. Talking to her made her feel like a psychotherapy session.

“Welcome Nurten, glad you came. I've just made tea, I haven't had breakfast, let's have it together.”

"I'll drink your tea, but I don't have appetite for anything these days."

When they entered to the kitchen, Nurten sat on the armchair in front of the window. Aynur poured tea, gave her a clean plate and sat across from her. There were days when they had very cheerful breakfasts at this table, but today was not one of them. She took a deep breath to bear all Nurten's pessimism.

“Tell me, my friend, what is your problem that caused your shoulders to drop?”

“What is it, Aynur? What kind of a period we were born into. We are both in our thirties, but I feel so old, so tired, so exhausted. We have witnessed most of the events that a person can come across maybe once in a lifetime in our short life. Earthquakes, floods, forest fires, epidemics, and now this war. 

I have no life energy. What do you think? Doesn't all this make you weary?”

“Of course I feel sad and worried too.”

“How can you go on then?”

“I guess I try to look at life like this: What wears a person out is either thinking too much about the past and being stuck there, or worrying about what will happen in the future. You can go to extremes in both. Then the person approaches the events very emotionally. She cannot react correctly to the event she is experiencing at the moment. She cannot even comprehend the present moment.”

“What do you mean?”

“Let's say she lost someone close to her in the epidemic a few years ago and is still mourning her loss. Or she worries, ‘We are experiencing so many disasters, what will happen to us in the future, will there be a third world war? In this way, these intense emotions cause her to react to any event without thinking.”

“Aynur dear, but one can't lift such a heavy burden. I mean I can't lift it, it's too heavy.”

“Yes, it is heavy, because one distributes one's strength to cope to the past and the future.”

“How will that work? We are human beings, of course we will regret the past, of course we will worry about the future. Then how are we different from robots? We'd be a soulless, emotionless thing.”

“What I mean is not that you should completely finish these emotions, but that you should use them in the right amount in the right place. 

When a person is stuck in the fear of the past, she cannot give the right reaction to the event she is experiencing today. 

But isn't the present moment the most important thing in life? Doesn't my present choices determine my future? So how will I make conscious choices when I am going back and forth between extreme fear and extreme anxiety? How will I react correctly to the events I experience now?”

Nurten thoughtfully said, “Do I understand correctly, are you saying “live in the moment”?”

Aynur took a sip of her tea and gestured to Nurten not to let it get cold. “Not live the moment, but live the moment right. The moment is very important because of our choices. Our past choices built the present. Our present choices will build our future. So what I react to and how I react to it, that's the whole point.”

“What you say is not something I can accept immediately, but you seem to be right. Again you showed me life from a completely different point of view. Aynur, talking to you is always good for me. I need to analyse and comprehend what you say.”

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