Waves in the Sea

The sun's rays sparkled on the sea. Tuğba had been watching the waves crash onto the shore for some time. After the scorching hot sand burned her feet, she sat by the shore, lost in deep thoughts. Her eyes were on the seemingly endless sea, but her mind was elsewhere. How had the whole week passed by so quickly? Today was their last day on the island, and they were leaving early tomorrow morning. The thought of leaving saddened her, making her feel bad inside.

It wasn’t just the thought of leaving this beautiful island that saddened Tuğba. Starting the day in such a quiet place was wonderful. She loved stepping out the door and diving into the midst of fruit trees. Picking fruits and brightening up the simple breakfast table with them made her happy. This simple table had shown them that it wasn't about variety. It was more enjoyable than plates that went untouched and were cleared away. After starting the day like this, the deep blue sea seemed even more beautiful.

The island was generally windy, but she had gotten used to it. Watching the surfers ride the waves was enjoyable. Jumping into the cool sea after being baked by the hot sand was also wonderful. In the evenings, having tea at the village tea garden relaxed her. On the island, she could see the stars as clearly as she never could in the city. She would miss every detail of the vacation, but that wasn’t all she was thinking about. She was thinking about the environment they would return to after the vacation. For the first time in years, she had gone on vacation alone with her husband. She loved her children dearly, but this calm vacation had done her good.

They had two children, each with many demands. One wouldn’t agree to what the other wanted, and they couldn’t find a middle ground. If one was quiet, the other would find something to cause trouble. Tuğba often didn’t know which child’s request to fulfill. Her husband was very bothered by this situation. He thought she was spoiling the kids too much and often got angry with Tuğba. But what could she do? She was just trying to make her children happy. Even though it tired her, she couldn’t see another option.

What really troubled Tuğba was returning to work. She felt so uneasy at work that she didn’t want to go back. It had become even more daunting after the vacation. It wasn’t the work itself that bothered her—her job was actually easy. She had been working in the textile industry for many years and knew her job well. But the environment was very unsettling. She had been with this company for a year but was already thinking of leaving. What still kept her there was that she had already changed jobs three times in the last five years. The idea of starting somewhere new no longer excited her.

She looked at the waves in the sea, thinking as she watched. Returning to work felt like battling the waves. She had faced the same problem at her last four companies and couldn’t figure out why. It was as if the company changed, but the people didn’t. How did her managers end up resembling her former manager so much over time? At first, it was never like this. Over time, she started seeing what bothered her in her previous manager in the new one. She could never perform well. No matter how hard she worked, she felt like her managers didn’t see it. The more she worked, the more her managers demanded.

So, what was causing people to turn into the same person all the time? And it had happened four times now. Even though she didn’t want to admit it, she began to think it might be her fault. She couldn’t find the root of the problem and would eventually leave the company when she couldn’t take it anymore. But even when she left, the problem followed her and became even more bothersome.

The Experiential Design Teaching says: “Problems return, growing larger if left unresolved.”

In reality, everyone encounters problems. What magnifies a problem is the approach to it. Because problems, when solved, strengthen a person, but if left unresolved, they return, growing larger. Avoiding them, ignoring them, or expecting someone else to solve them doesn’t strengthen a person; it wastes time. Instead, trying to solve them oneself is the right approach. That’s when a person starts to enjoy the waves instead of drowning in them. Rather than swimming against the wind, one can catch the wind and surf. Thus, every wind, every wave turns into a practice that strengthens them.

So, how does one achieve this? How does a person solve their problems, respond correctly, and grow stronger? Is it only by looking inward, or by blaming the outside world?

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Experiential Design Teaching enables us to make our lives easier with consistent, applicable, understandable and useful information. With this information, people learn how to communicate more effectively with their family, friends and customers.