Causes and Consequences

Human beings always want happy endings. We always want ultimate success. We always want things but we don’t concentrate much on what causes we need to create in order to get what we want. However, it is the causes that are in one's hands, not the results. 

Years ago, when I was preparing for the university exam, I heard my father's words, which I could not make sense of at the time. How true they were…

It was a cold winter day. I was sitting by the stove studying for the university exam when the smell of orange peels my mother had put on the stove filled the room. My mother, who was preparing dinner in the kitchen, saw my father coming home through the window and called out, "Your father is here!" She started preparing the dining table. When my father entered the house, he first washed his face and hands as usual. After changing his clothes, he knocked on my door and poked his head inside and said, “My dear daughter, are you still studying?". I had spent the whole day studying in the classroom then at home, constantly solving tests. On top of that, I was feeling anxious about the results. I said in an overwhelmed tone, "Yes, Dad, I'm studying, but I'm so scared, what if I don't pass the exam?" Day by day, my anxiety and fear was increasing.

The smile on my father's face was replaced by a serious expression. When he was going to make an important speech he would take on this serious face. He was a very soft person underneath his hard exterior. He slowly entered my room, closed the door and sat on my bed. There was silence at first. He was looking at the floor, as if he was composing in his head what he wanted to tell me. Then he turned his gaze to me and said, "I believe you will pass your exam. The results we get may not always be how we want them to be.  What's up to us is to do our part which is to create the right reasons and not to get stuck on the outcome. If you put in the effort, you should be happy no matter what the result is. If you didn't make any effort and didn't succeed, then I would be sad just like you. Whatever the results, I know you did your best. For me your determination is the best answer you can give!"

The Experiential Design Teaching states: "The real happiness is not at the end of the road, but on the road itself."

Unfortunately, human life is spent concentrating on the results rather than the causes. The more we get caught up in the results, the more anxious we become and the less we can enjoy the process itself. 

My father stood up, thinking that he had given the message he needed to give. "Let's have dinner now, then you can continue working." Before going to the dinner table, I thought about what my father had said. What did he mean?  I'm going to study hard and even if I don't pass the exam, I won't be upset. How is that possible? I have to admit, it didn't make sense at the time. It turned out to be the very truth… 

If you plant bad seeds, even if the soil is fertile, you will not get good results. As I grew older and became more experienced, I learned that the results are not under our control, what is under our control is to create the right reasons. 

So what was real success, real gain?

Could success only be achieved with passing the university exam? When there was a much more important exam we had to pass, 

The test of life…

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Experiential Design Teaching enables us to make our lives easier with consistent, applicable, understandable and useful information. With this information, people learn how to communicate more effectively with their family, friends and customers.