HAPPINESS IS IN YOUR HANDS

She went to bed feeling unhappy. Tossed and turned but couldn’t sleep. She was truly exhausted. The problems she faced were caught in a loop, constantly returning to the same starting point. No matter who she let into her life, it was as if they had all made a pact to treat her the same way.

Sevilay was a teacher but had no real authority over her students. If a student got a thorn in their foot, she was held responsible. In the past, parents would entrust their children to teachers saying, “He’s all yours...” But now? Every single issue involving the student was the teacher’s responsibility, but with no right to impose any discipline. No repeating a grade, no room for even a few stern words when needed.

Is Anyone Listening?

When she returned home exhausted from school, things weren’t any better. She had to help her kids with their schoolwork. Time slipped away between cleaning, dishes, laundry, and ironing. “Can you at least tidy your room?” she’d ask. But no one listened. At home, the only thing that had authority over the children were the phones in their hands. “I gave birth to you, but you’re ruled by your phones. Sometimes I feel like a servant,” she’d say—but nothing ever changed.

Alone in a Crowd

She thought, “Tonight I’ll take a breath and sit down to chat with my husband.” She made a nice dessert, brewed tea, put on her perfume and got dressed up. Then she waited for her husband to come home. It had been two hours since he said, “I’m coming, honey.” Had he ever arrived when he said he would? They had started this journey together saying, “Life is shared,” but it no longer felt like they were truly sharing anything. Her husband frequently went out with friends and used the house like a hotel.

Her relatives weren’t any different. She remembered the last incident with her nephew. She had always been soft towards Ali since he grew up an orphan. She supported him emotionally and financially, even helped him through his wedding. Whenever Ali was in trouble, he would call his aunt. However, after giving him a loan that was six months overdue, she finally had to call him. In time, she could hardly recognize him. Despite all her efforts over the years, the person she had helped most had turned against her.

She had hosted her sister in her home for a full month while her house was being renovated. A week later, when she visited the hometown, she was left heartbroken. The sister she had just hosted hadn’t even called to ask how she was. Being a sibling should go both ways, but when it was time to return the favor, her sister was cold as stone.

Nothing at All

When she woke up in the morning, everyone continued on as if nothing had happened because, in reality, nothing had happened. People acted as they pleased, and she was deeply unhappy. So, was there a formula for happiness?

The Experiential Design Teaching says: “To be happy, you must place your expectations in the right place.”

Happiness is truly in one’s own hands. People want to be happy, successful, and have good relationships. However, the path to this lies not in expecting from the outside world—but from inner world.

Her second class that morning was free. She took her tea and sat by the window in the teachers’ lounge and thought. Neither her husband, her job, her children, nor her relatives had brought her peace. But why? Could it be that she was expecting too much from others? When expectations were placed on things beyond her control, it only led to frustration. The more she expected from the outside world, the more irritable, sensitive, and complaining she had become. As she thought about all this, her eyes welled up with tears. She asked life a question:

“What can I do to develop my relationships? How can I be happy”

In reality, healing starts from the inside out. That’s why she had to do something for herself. She finally understood that she couldn’t change people—nor did she have the right to. She could only play a role in their transformation. But first, she needed to fix some things within herself.

Yes, this time she had to take a step forward—for her own well-being.

Experiential Design Teaching enables us to make our lives easier with consistent, applicable, understandable and useful information. With this information, people learn how to communicate more effectively with their family, friends and customers.