SINGLE AND SOVEREIGN

  

 

Ayten stuck her head back in through the car window with a resigned, “Alright, alright.” Honestly, what was everyone so furious about? People were so tense, so impatient. It was evening rush hour, traffic crawling at a turtle’s pace. Ayten had left work like she always did and was simply trying to get home. Around this hour, school buses were in a hurry, minibuses were practically wrestling for space, and Ayten was caught right in the middle of it. One of the minibus drivers was tailgating her again, honking nonstop to force her over. Just then the light turned red, a tiny moment to breathe.

She cracked the window open for some fresh air. Her eyes were locked on the license plate of the car ahead when a sudden burst of horns jolted her back to reality. She hit the gas. At the same time, her grocery list was running through her mind. Potatoes, meat, yogurt, cooking oil… and of course, detergent. “I can’t carry all that tonight.” she sighed, mentally crossing detergent off the list.

She’d recently stopped ordering groceries online; it felt pricier each time, and honestly, a bit unsafe. It was way too obvious she lived alone. The last courier had asked, “Haven’t seen an order from you in a while, where’ve you been?” That question alone had nearly made her eyes pop out. But grocery shopping was exhausting too. Finishing work tired, wandering through aisles, going home to cook… she wouldn’t sit down before nine. “There’s still food from yesterday. It’ll get me to the weekend.” she told herself and postponed the shopping trip.

When she walked into her apartment, Prince greeted her. Not the one on a white horse, of course; Ayten’s cat Prince. After two minutes of affection, he turned around and went straight to his favorite corner. Ayten headed for the shower to wash the day off. She moved aside the bucket filling up from the leaky faucet. She’d already called the plumber twice; then she tried fixing it herself, which only made the leak worse. She knew nothing about repairs and why should she? But she was tired of calling someone every time. If she didn’t, it all fell on her anyway: the faucet, the door handle, the loose molding…

Just as she got out of the bathroom, the doorbell rang, making her jump. Who would stop by at this hour? She peeked through the peephole, the building superintendent stood there with papers in hand. “I’ll just pretend I’m not home.” she whispered and tiptoed away. Prince stared at her. “If only you’d do more than stare and go listen to Rıza’s endless talking for me.” she muttered.

She heated up the leftovers. Actually, leftovers from two days ago. She still hadn’t mastered cooking for one. She hated wasting food, so she ended up overeating, and the weight had started creeping on.

Finally, it was tea-and-TV time, the moment she shook off the whole day. Flipping through channels, she stopped at a popular drama. “Oh look, the princesses again. How do you stay this perfect at home? And where do you all find these rich, romantic, impossibly handsome men?” she scoffed and changed the channel. Was there any show that resembled real life? The men were rich without working, the women glamorous and always fully made up, and their homes spotless despite no one lifting a finger.

Real life was nothing like that. Take Ayten herself. She had started working very young. She never saw marriage as an escape; she tried to stand on her own. Her peers already had their second kids starting school. When they saw her, they’d say, “Oh Aytencik, how lovely. You get to enjoy life! Must be so easy for you!” To them, Ayten cooked if she felt like it, didn’t if she didn’t. Laundry could stay un-ironed for days. If she wanted a vacation, she didn’t have to persuade a husband or kids. She went wherever she wanted, answered to no one. She was like an expensive vase in a shop window; lovely to look at, but people thought twice before buying.

But being sick alone with no one to take care of her, paying all the bills, doing all the chores, dealing with something as simple as a flat tire, feeling unsafe because she was a woman living alone… These were things most people reacted to with, “No way, not for me.” Yes, there were perks, she didn’t have to make the bed, she could escape for a weekend on a whim, no one questioned her spending. But lately, those perks had lost their charm. They felt stale.

Only someone like Zuhal understood. When Zuhal suddenly ended her long single life by getting married, everyone including Ayten was shocked.

“Ayten dear, people fear what they don’t know. Being single is like an orange after a while, it dries out. I realized after getting married how much lighter life feels when you share both joy and hardship… Though sharing a home with someone at this age isn’t easy either. But I keep wondering why I carried all those burdens alone for so many years. I’ve learned that life feels much sweeter when you’re the queen of your home…”

Ayten had always found an excuse: “It’s not like someone suitable came along.” or “My future husband absolutely must have these qualities and cannot have those…” She had kept the idea of marriage at arm’s length.

But how could she ignore what Zuhal said? It was like she was shining a light on Ayten from the future. What if one day she did want to marry and it was too late? Maybe it was time to shift her perspective a little, to notice not only the downsides but also the upsides of marriage.

And that morning, after a long time, she made a small change: she made her bed. She prepared breakfast.

 

The Experiential Design Teaching is about helping people discover their true purpose.

It guides them toward clear, conscious awareness so they can make the right choices and decisions. It offers practical strategies for solving real problems.

Programs beginning with “Who’s Who”, followed by “Mastery in Relationships,” “Psychology of Success,” and “Mastery in Avoidance,” help people become happier and more successful than the person they were yesterday.

 

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